Advice in the Moment

Ever been asked to give some advice to someone who is in the middle of what most likely is a complex multilayered dilemma?

I was recently. It had to do with a marriage relationship that had become adversarial. There was a lot of pain and frustration in their eyes and voices and I so wanted to help but I only had a few minutes to spend with them.

My response: “I see and feel your pain and I applaud your willingness to open up to me. I’m a much better sign post pointing people in a direction than I am a destination that unpacks these things. So I’ll point you to a counselor, but in the meantime at the risk of sounding simplistic, here’s my advice: In your every interaction with each other, ask yourself…what is the loving thing to think, say or do right now and then think it, say it and do it”.

Will this advice solve all their issues…probably not. Will it improve their relationship and put them in a better place to actually address their issues? I think so.

And it might be a good way to conduct all your relationships.

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